How to Recognize and Overcome Self-Sabotaging in Relationships

People self-sabotage love for a variety of reasons, such as fear, low self-esteem, trust issues, high expectations, and inadequate relationship skills. To protect themselves from potential hurt, individuals may resort to strategies like withdrawing, becoming defensive, or attacking their partners. My team and I define relationship sabotage as counterproductive attitudes and behaviors within (and outside) relationships that prevent them from succeeding or lead people to give up on them. One form of romantic self-sabotage is to choose partners who are simply wrong for you.

When you find yourself in this situation, it's important to evaluate the relationship at its current stage and decide if the challenges are worth it. It's important to recognize when you're self-sabotaging in a relationship. Signs of self-sabotage include avoiding commitment, pushing away your partner, and not communicating your needs. If you recognize any of these behaviors in yourself, it's time to take a step back and reflect on why you're engaging in them.

The first step to overcoming self-sabotaging behavior is to identify the underlying cause. Once you understand why you're engaging in these behaviors, you can start to work on changing them. This may involve seeking professional help or talking to a trusted friend or family member. It's also important to practice self-care and build up your self-esteem.

Finally, it's essential to learn how to communicate effectively with your partner. This means being honest about your feelings and needs and listening to your partner's perspective. With practice, you can learn how to build a healthy relationship that is free from self-sabotage.