Self-sabotage, also known as behavioral dysregulation, is a common yet incredibly frustrating cycle of behavior that can affect almost every aspect of our lives. It can be conscious or unconscious, and it occurs when we actively or passively take action to prevent us from reaching our goals. Examples of self-sabotage include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-harm such as cutting. At the root of self-sabotage is often a lack of faith in oneself.
People may fear disappointing others, failing or succeeding, and so they create problems in their daily life that interfere with their long-standing goals. Joseph suggests that self-sabotage occurs when we do certain things that were adaptive in a context but are no longer necessary. When we are aware that we are self-sabotaging, the critic's voice starts to hit us and shame takes hold of us and our thinking is distorted. We may feel aversion towards ourselves and our low self-esteem is reinforced by the poor results of our behavior.
It's important to recognize the signs of self-sabotage so that we can take steps to overcome it. Common signs include procrastination, comfort eating, addiction to pornography and masturbation, sleeping too much, and abusing pets. The first step to overcoming self-sabotage is to identify the underlying cause. This could be a fear of failure or success, or it could be rooted in childhood experiences such as being constantly criticized or belittled.
Once you have identified the cause, you can start to work on developing healthier coping mechanisms and building your self-confidence. It's also important to practice self-compassion and recognize that you are not alone in your struggles with self-sabotage. Seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial in helping you to understand your behavior and develop strategies for overcoming it. Finally, it's important to remember that you are capable of achieving your goals despite any feelings of self-doubt or fear.
With patience and perseverance, you can break the cycle of self-sabotage and create a life that is full of joy and fulfillment.