Self-sabotage in relationships is when someone engages in behaviors, either consciously or unconsciously, that lead to the end of a relationship. This could involve pushing the other person away or finding reasons to get out of the relationship. My team and I define relationship sabotage as counterproductive attitudes and behaviors within (and outside) relationships that prevent them from succeeding, or lead people to give up on them. One form of romantic self-sabotage is to choose partners who are simply wrong for you.
Self-sabotage can be a result of fear of commitment, fear of intimacy, or fear of abandonment. It can also be caused by low self-esteem, lack of trust, or unresolved issues from past relationships. It's important to recognize when you're engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors so that you can take steps to address the underlying issues and create healthier relationships. The first step is to become aware of your own patterns and behaviors.
Pay attention to how you interact with your partner and how you respond to their actions. Do you find yourself pushing them away or creating unnecessary drama? Are you constantly looking for reasons to end the relationship? Once you've identified your patterns, it's time to start making changes. Start by building your self-esteem and learning how to trust yourself and your partner. Work on resolving any unresolved issues from past relationships and practice healthy communication with your partner.
Finally, it's important to remember that relationships take work and effort from both parties. If you're feeling overwhelmed or like you're not getting what you need from the relationship, talk to your partner about it. Open communication is key to creating a healthy relationship.